Weighty Topics

Let me start by saying, losing weight is a personal topic. Not everyone will want to read about this, and to be honest, I don't really want to write about it. BUT, if this is a blog of my life, then I need to discuss my life. The good, the bad, the weird.

When I was in high school I was smallish. Not super skinny, but smallish. I am 5'1, so pretty much by default I was small. I danced, did a bit of cheer leading, and occasionally played some sort of sport. I ate what I wanted and drank what I wanted. I never really worried about being fat.

The summer before I came to college I put on a fair amount of weight, probably 15-20 pounds. I started worrying. I also started taking diet pills. I was fairly unhappy with my freshman year experience. I started eating a meal a day. I lost a lot of weight. Like, a lot. I felt amazing. And horrible.

I kept living that way for a few years. Working out, eating very little, taking diet pills. Then I met J. We started out as friends then fell in love.

As our relationship grew, so did my waistline.

By the time we got married I had regained the 35 pounds I lost plus another 10. In the five years that have passed since then, I have added another 30 pounds to that. Keep in mind, I am 5'1.

Along the way people have made those comments. You know the ones, "You would be so pretty if you just lost some weight." "You carry your weight well, but wouldn't you feel better at X?" So on and so forth.

Do you think I don't know? I see myself daily. I am aware of what I weigh and how I look. The thing is....It is hard.

Losing weight is hard.  Not for everyone, but for me (and a lot of other people!) it is difficult. I know my weaknesses, Dr. Pepper, fried food, and sweets. Also, maybe being happy?

When I started college I left behind my family and my high school boyfriend. (We did the long distance thing for a year and a half.) I was not happy. I made friends, but not until the 2nd semester of my freshman year and by that time I was pretty well ensconced in my eating pattern. Or my lack-of-eating pattern. When I am lonely and unhappy it is easier to channel my frustration into weight loss.

Now I am happy (Not without bad days and stress, but happy nonetheless). I have a great husband, a great daughter, a good job, and a lot of friends that I get to spend time with. What I guess this long post is saying is that without the trigger to get me going I am complacent. I don't want to be. I want to be proactive. Not starving and miserable like I was in college, but not lazy like I am now. I need a balance between the two that I have yet to really find.

So many thoughts in there.
This is not a weight loss blog. Nor is it a fashion blog. Or a baby blog. Or a DIY blog. It is all of these things and none of these things. My life is all of those things and none of those things as well. With that said, I hope to have a positive progress (negative pounds) post to share here in a month. Until then, no more weight talk. I promise!

Random Information (A-Z)

The A to Z of Me

I don’t do these very often, but Alli posted an all-call of sorts on her blog, and I thought, why not?

A. Age: 28 and dealing with it.

B. Bed size: Queen. Full beds are way too small and king bed are way too big. This one is just right.

C. Chore that you hate: Um, all of them! I really hate cleaning the kitchen. Dirty dishes totally squick me out.

D. Dogs: I have two. Lucy and Sophie. Spoiled rotten.

E. Essential start to your day: The snooze button. Also, channel 4 news so I have some idea about weather and traffic. I need about 10-15 minutes in bed watching the news after I wake before I get out of bed.

F. Favorite color: Pink and purple.

G. Gold or Silver: Silver.

H. Height: 5’1” I used to dream that I would have a massive growth spurt. Alas, that dream never came true.

I. Instruments you play: The flute. I played for 9 years.

J. Job title: Teacher.

K. Kids: A. Also known as The Bug. She is two going on 16.

L. Live: North Texas, nearish DFW.

M. Mother’s name: D.

N. Nicknames: Sisty, Missy, Sister. My brother and I called each other Brother and Sister growing up. He is even listed in my phone that way today.

O. Overnight hospital stays: Only when I had A. Three nights.

P. Pet peeves: Oh man, I have a lot. People that abuse grammar, people that use words without thinking, mosquito, (and stealing one from Alli) judgmental parents.

Q. Quote from a movie:  Gosh I don't know. I use the one from The Sweetest Thing a lot, "Look at this, no what is that, no, what is that, no seriously what is that?"

R. Right or left handed: Right.

S. Siblings: One brother, two step-brothers.

T: Time you wake up: On Monday/Wednesday/Friday 6:20, on Tuesday/Thursday 4:45.  On the weekends I sleep until A wakes me up.

U. Underwear: Whatever. Cheap ones.

V. Vegetable you hate: Onion, but I am working on it.

W. What makes you run late: Not being prepared. I HATE being late. So, I try to pick my clothes out on Sundays, make dinner menus on Sunday, and pack lunches the night before. It doesn't always work that way though.

X. X-Rays you’ve had: My hand and my left foot. I had a little incident in St. Louis on  a trip with some girlfriends. I fractured my foot in 4 places and tore the ligaments in my arch. Lucky me, it didn't heal right and still bothers me today. (I will have to blog this story some day.)

Y. Yummy food that you make: I am certainly not known as a great cook. I made J a birthday cake once that made him sick. But, I have improved a lot in the past few years.

Z. Zoo animal: I think this is strange. Obviously whomever created this needed something with z, but why not just say animal? Anyway, my favorite "zoo animals" are giraffes.

This is So Not One of Those Blogs*

If you are an avid follower of blogs like I am, you are bound to run across those really amazing ones. You know, the ones where the blogger looks like a fraking model and her life is all perfect. She and her dream boat husband ride tandem bikes, roll in the leaves, and take perfect candids in front of their fireplace. Her outfits are always impeccable, quirky, and charming. Her makeup is flawless and her skin glowing. Her hair is loose waves or shiny, straight, and bouncy.

This is (clearly) NOT one of those blogs. All the pictures you have seen of me include bad hair, bad skin, usually some sort of stain, or squinty eyes. Don't expect a change. My life is not perfect. Not even close. I am short. I am fat. I have crazy curly hair. I have bags under my eyes. I am getting gray hair and crows feet. Do I bitch and moan about this things, yes. Would I change some of them if I could? Yes. Am I working on some of them now? Yes. But, if I was suddenly taller (HAH!), skinnier, prettier, or what-have you would my life be better?

Would J love me more? Would A think I was a better mom? Would my friends find me more interesting?

I don't think so...

Do I still envy those perfect (on paper) bloggers? Yes. Would I trade my life for theirs? No. I have am amazing husband (who brings me lunch after I throw his lunch at his head). I have an amazing daughter (who colored on her hands, face, and stomach on the way home from daycare today). I have amazing friends (who call me out on my moaning and groaning). These things make my imperfect life the most perfect it can be.

So no, this is not one of those stylish lifestyle blogs. This is my life blog. It sure as heck isn't perfect. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

True to life example, the Bug is looking away, I am talking and mid-blink. This was the best picture of us from the whole weekend.

 *I know the lives of those bloggers aren't perfect either, but they do a great job of making it seem that way. I wish I was as talented with words, photography, and fashion as those ladies!

Getting Older While Looking Younger

Recently I have had a whole slate of comments about how "old" I look. I know most people don't mean them the way I take them....but still no one wants to hear "What? You are only 28? I thought you were older?!"

Is it my gravitas in almost every situation? My stature? My old soul? Or is it all the wrinkles in my forehead that J swears no one else can see? Is it the wisps of white at my temples? What is it about me that causes you to stare in disbelief at the fact that YES I AM 28? (At least until May).

At some point everyone goes through age pains. At 14 we hope we look 16 so the boys (or girls) at the mall will think we are cute. At 16 we hope we look 18 so we can buy that first pack of smokes (You know, the one that makes you cough and hack even though you don't inhale). At 18 we hope we look 21 for obvious reasons. Then suddenly at 21 we no longer care about how old we look. This lasts one year.

From 22 on we hope we look younger than we are. Why? I can't say, but I do know that I am guilty of this. I want to look 25 or 26, or at the very least, the age I am. I know the most recent comment was not meant to be cruel, but I have spent the last 3 days (or so) replaying it in my head. I think it is the "really" that gets me. Not just, "You are only 28?", but "Really? You are only 28?" The emphasis on the you is probably mine. I hear things different than they way people say them sometimes.

I think women notice these things more than men, but I don't know why that is either. I do know though, that when J and I joined the gym, the salesperson remarked on the fact that we are the same age. (Technically J is 9 months older than me.) Then he proceeded to tell us that in his opinion men should always marry younger because women get older faster. Then he looked at me. J didn't notice this, but I was near tears. These types of comments are a throw-away by the person who says it, but the person you say it to may carry it for a long time.

When I was 23, I actually got carded for a rated R movie. What exactly happened in the last 5 years to take me from looking younger than my age, to people not believing that I am in my 20's?

I honestly don't take the best care of my skin. I wash it when I remember to, and moisturize even less than that. I have under eye cream that I use when I remember to moisturize. Obviously, I could be better at this. But, will it be enough? I am asking for help here, blog readers. Do you have a beauty secret you can lend me? A powerful wrinkle cream? A fail proof youthifying routine? Or should I be looking elsewhere for answers to this problem? Or ignoring it completely?

Oh and one more old do I look?

A Typical Day?

We got a new dining room table this weekend. It is phase one in my (imaginary) brand new kitchen project. I am hopeful that we will be able to add a tile back splash, stain the cabinets, and maybe even change out the counter tops. Anyway, that is not the point of this post. This point is, we got a new table.

A loves the new table. She has been gushing over it ever since the day it arrived. It is a counter-height table, with swivel chairs. She no longer wants to sit at her table (a pink table that Memaw Darling bought her for Christmas when she was still a tiny baby). So to bribe her to keep using that table, I let her play with Play-Doh.

I know this makes me seem like a mean mom, but generally I feel like Play-Doh is a weekend activity. That crud gets everywhere! I hate picking up little clumps of blue, green, or purple from all over my house.

So she is really excited to get to play with the doh, but then suddenly she runs off. I don't worry about it, she is either in her room or her playroom. When she comes back she is naked. Except for a pink Santa hat. She then sits down at her table and begins to play.

She left the room. Took off her clothes. Found the pink (with glitter and sparkles) Santa hat from inside her dress-up clothes bin. Put it on. Then came back to play. Oooookay....

Then as she is playing with her play-doh she begins to sing. Not a real song, just words. She basically was singing her actions. I know I am biased, but it was pretty funny.

The thing is, none of this surprised me. I didn't bat one eye. This is just another Wednesday night at the J home. Throw in two barking dogs stealing the socks out of the hamper, and two parents who really just want to watch Criminal Minds, and you have an idea of the life we lead. Exciting right?

Also, before she went to bed, I fixed A's hair into a "Daybook" inspired topknot to match my own that I wore to work today. Then we took about 30 pictures. These are the best two. (I use the term best loosely.)

Gimme Gibbies

I know this blog is a bit of a mis-mash. But, I think, that is reflective of my life. I like fashion, I like clothes so there are some posts related to that. I have amazing friends and I sometimes talk about them.

I am also a family person. I have a husband and a daughter and two crazy dogs. These things have serious sway over my life. I spend the majority of my free time with my little family. With that said...I present a real conversation that I had with my husband on September 9th.

M "I want a gibby."
J "What?"
M "A gibby."
J "What is a gibby?"
M "You mean I have never explained gibbies to you?!"
J "Um no...."
When my brother and I were young we loved pickles. LOVED them. So we would run around screaming gimme gimme gimme! This somehow transformed into gibby gibby gibby, which them became gimme gibby, gimme gibby. Gibby=pickle. I explained all this to J, who was staring at me like I just grew another head.
J "How do you get gibby from pickle? The only letter they have in common is an i."
M "Well that is not true, gibbies has an e."
J "Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I wasn't aware of the correct spelling for your made up word."
Awkward silence.
M "A calls Santa Claus, Kitty Claus and reindeer, rein-nana's."
J "Yeah, but those are close. Claus and rein."
M "Well Brother used to call me Sisty and I called him Baboo."
J "Okay I can get Sisty (similar to my full name), but once again the word you made up is just weird."
Another awkward silence.
M "Okay, well, goodnight."
J "You still haven't really explained this."
M "Zzzzzzzzz" (Me pretending to be asleep)

I think it is safe to say I left J more confused than before with this little nugget of information from my childhood.

Mmmmmm a gibby. Photo Via Randomness

So Random

I don't have a set plan for this post, just a few pictures from this week and last.

A's Clothes: Shirt as a dress Macy's
Top: Target
Cardigan: Loft
Pants: Wal-Mart

Open House 2010

Open House 2011
Top:Crazy 8
Skirt: Crazy 8
Shoes: Old Navy