Recently I have had a whole slate of comments about how "old" I look. I know most people don't mean them the way I take them....but still no one wants to hear "What? You are only 28? I thought you were older?!"
Is it my gravitas in almost every situation? My stature? My old soul? Or is it all the wrinkles in my forehead that J swears no one else can see? Is it the wisps of white at my temples? What is it about me that causes you to stare in disbelief at the fact that YES I AM 28? (At least until May).
At some point everyone goes through age pains. At 14 we hope we look 16 so the boys (or girls) at the mall will think we are cute. At 16 we hope we look 18 so we can buy that first pack of smokes (You know, the one that makes you cough and hack even though you don't inhale). At 18 we hope we look 21 for obvious reasons. Then suddenly at 21 we no longer care about how old we look. This lasts one year.
From 22 on we hope we look younger than we are. Why? I can't say, but I do know that I am guilty of this. I want to look 25 or 26, or at the very least, the age I am. I know the most recent comment was not meant to be cruel, but I have spent the last 3 days (or so) replaying it in my head. I think it is the "really" that gets me. Not just, "You are only 28?", but "Really? You are only 28?" The emphasis on the you is probably mine. I hear things different than they way people say them sometimes.
I think women notice these things more than men, but I don't know why that is either. I do know though, that when J and I joined the gym, the salesperson remarked on the fact that we are the same age. (Technically J is 9 months older than me.) Then he proceeded to tell us that in his opinion men should always marry younger because women get older faster. Then he looked at me. J didn't notice this, but I was near tears. These types of comments are a throw-away by the person who says it, but the person you say it to may carry it for a long time.
When I was 23, I actually got carded for a rated R movie. What exactly happened in the last 5 years to take me from looking younger than my age, to people not believing that I am in my 20's?
I honestly don't take the best care of my skin. I wash it when I remember to, and moisturize even less than that. I have under eye cream that I use when I remember to moisturize. Obviously, I could be better at this. But, will it be enough? I am asking for help here, blog readers. Do you have a beauty secret you can lend me? A powerful wrinkle cream? A fail proof youthifying routine? Or should I be looking elsewhere for answers to this problem? Or ignoring it completely?
Oh and one more question....how old do I look?