|Not one of the photos that set this post in motion, although the arm roll is getting to me.|
|Horrid. You can see why most shots of me are neck up!|
|Yowza. That is super unfortunate.|
I am fully aware that I am not thin. I am not tiny. I am not svelte. But I felt good about how I looked. Until I saw these pictures. They were candid, so obviously I couldn't work any angles, turn, suck-in, or even stand up straight. (The normal tricks to appearing thinner in photos!) I know that my body is the only one I will have, so I should love it. And I am working on it. I liked it quite a bit just a few months and weeks ago. I was okay with not meeting my 50 pound weight loss. I was happy that I could walk in to any store, pick up a standard size, and know that it would (90% of the time) fit. I had even made huge strides by going sleeveless this summer. (A huge step if you know me well.)
I don't like feeling so let down. If I could magically change these feelings, I would. I can't though, so instead I need to find a way to work through them. I am open to suggestions. I am not really sure how to re-enter the world of exercising. I am burned out on the Jillian video, plus it makes me feel like a failure because I can not/will not do it for 30 days in a row.
Basically, I am throwing yet another pity party for myself. (Gosh I might need to change the name of the blog to We All Have Pity Parties.) I will either get the 5 pounds back off, or....Well I don't know.
So here I am. Another setback on a what has been a very long, very bumpy road.